


Five Times Roy Mustang Attempted to Ask Riza Hawkeye on a Date

by astralelegies



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pre-Canon, Royai Week 2015, Telephone, day three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralelegies/pseuds/astralelegies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would seem that Roy Mustang, suave ladies’ man though he is, has trouble getting his point across when it comes to asking out a certain first lieutenant. And Riza Hawkeye, for her part, is cross at the colonel’s all-too-frequent phone calls when he should be working.</p><p>For Royai Week day three: telephone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Roy Mustang Attempted to Ask Riza Hawkeye on a Date

1.

“Hello, Lieutenant Hawkeye.”

“Colonel. Why are you calling me when you’re supposed to be at work.”

“For the joy of casual conversation?”

“Very funny, sir.” Hawkeye rolls her eyes even though he can’t see. “If you wanted casual conversation you would have actually shown up at the office.”

“Well, yes, but then I’d miss the latest film showing at the cinema down the street. I hear Major Armstrong’s youngest sister bribed her way to a cameo role.” His voice is just a tad too cheerful, which means he’s anxious about something. 

“Sir. You can’t skip work just to go to the movies.”

“Of course not. That’s why you’re coming with me.”

Hawkeye has to hold the phone away from her ear a moment in another bout of exasperation. “Do you need me to take you to the hospital, sir? Your brain seems to be missing.”

He snorts. “Come on, Hawkeye, you told me you’d follow me—

“That is not what I meant.” 

Riza hangs up the phone and sighs. _Idiot_. She smiles a little. 

 

2\. 

A few weeks later, Roy decides to try again. 

“Lieutenant. Would you like to accompany me on a fascinating excursion to East City Library?”

“Is it to find case files for that job you’re supposed to be doing?”

“…not exactly.”

“Then no.”

It’s the second time she’s hung up on him, but Roy is determined not to be discouraged. 

 

3.

Riza hears the phone ringing and debates whether or not she should answer it. On the one hand, it could be something genuinely important that requires her immediate attention, but on the other hand, Colonel Mustang is out again today “gathering intel” and procrastination is his way of life. She decides to try her luck; perhaps the colonel needs her, and she can’t pretend hearing his voice is an entirely unwelcome distraction. 

“Elizabeth. I need your help.”

Instantly Riza’s on the alert. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I need you to go on a date with me.”

It certainly isn’t what Hawkeye was expecting to hear, but she goes with it. 

“Sure, Roy!” she bubbles in her high-pitched incognito voice, although not too loudly because she’s still in the office and if someone walks in she’s in big trouble. “Is someone at work giving you a hard time?”

It’s her code for _who are we keeping an eye on this time?_ They’ve been pulling undercover operations for as long as they’ve been working together, although they’ve never done one strictly date-oriented. 

“In a manner of speaking,” he says, and even though they’re used to reading each other’s subtext Riza can’t for the life of her figure out what he means. 

“I’ll pick you up at eight,” he continues 

“Of course.” Riza has to restrain herself from adding a “sir” at the end. She hangs up.

One hour later she is decked out in her plainclothes finest—a deep blue evening dress and the only strand of pearls she owns—sitting across from a colonel who she can’t help but admit is maddeningly dashing in one of his more resplendent suits. 

“You look ravishing.”

She grins at him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

She waits for him to disclose the mission briefing, but instead he starts making small talk about the weather. This continues for about five minutes until she snaps him out of it.

“Roy,” she says lightly, “is there any particular reason you brought me here tonight?”

“I wanted to take you out on a proper date for once.”

“Yes, but…” Riza jerks her head ever so slightly to indicate the couple sitting a few tables away from them, wondering if they’re the target. “Was there any reason in particular?”

“Nope,” he says simply.

None of this is making any sense. He hasn’t alerted her to the mark and so far the most suspicious thing she’s witnessed is his behavior. She leans across the table, to the outside eye a clear signal of flirting but for her a way to get him to focus. 

“Colonel,” she hisses in a low voice through a salacious smile, “what are we doing here?”

“I told you,” he replies, matching her tone, “I wanted to take you out.”

“Yes, but who are we shadowing?”

He blinks in genuine confusion, and Riza gets a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“No one, why would you think that?”

“Because you called me Elizabeth!” 

“It’s good for us to make an appearance once and a while if we’re to maintain the illusion that you’re my girlfriend.”

“I don’t believe your nerve.” Riza’s voice is rising, but she finds she doesn’t care. “I thought this was part of our _job_ , but it turns out it’s just another one of your silly games.”

She’s fighting a lump in her throat and that surprises her, there’s no reason for her to be this upset. Clearly Colonel Mustang is thinking along those same lines. 

“I’m not…what do you mean one of my games?”

“I’m going home, colonel,” Riza says, standing quickly. “Do your paperwork.”

She knows unequivocally that he will follow her instructions this time, but it doesn’t give her any satisfaction. It only makes her sad. The next day she gives a particularly rousing effort at target practice. 

The cadets look rather intimidated. 

 

4.

It takes him six days of avoiding her at Eastern Command for Roy to work up the courage to call Lieutenant Hawkeye again. 

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize to me, colonel.”

“Of course there is,” he says, “it was wrong of me to have you go out with me without informing you of all the details first, and it was unprofessional of me to organize something not strictly work-related without consulting you.”

“Yes, it was.” Hawkeye doesn’t sound angry, just matter-of-fact. 

“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you.” 

“You’re not going to ask me to go on a date again, are you?”

“What? N—No, of course not.” Roy laughs unconvincingly. “I’m…I really am sorry about last week’s misconstruction.”

“Yeah. So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“You know what? Never mind.” 

This time he is the one to hang up on her. He sinks to the floor of his apartment, digging his fingernails into his legs to prevent tears from gathering in his eyes. After all, according to Lieutenant Hawkeye they’ll only make him useless.

He stares morosely at the phone. 

5.

“Actually, there is something I wanted to say to you.”

“Colonel?”

“When I hung up on you earlier. There was something I wanted to tell you.”

Riza’s heart beats noticeably faster. “Yes?”

“The reason I asked you on that date…it wasn’t to make fun of you.”

She sighs. “I know that, colonel.”

“I mean it. I would never dare make fun of you, Hawkeye. I asked you because…well…because…”

Riza bites back the urge to make a sarcastic remark.

“…because this whole time I’ve been calling you I’ve been wanting to ask you on a real date but I’m too scared to do it properly.”

“Oh.” Riza’s eyes widen. “ _Oh._ Colonel…”

“It’s okay,” he says, “I know you’re going to reprimand me for being indecorous.” 

“No, I’m not.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Riza feels light-headed, and she realizes it’s because she’s actually _happy_. Possibly happier than she’s ever been in her life. “Colonel…would you like to go on a date with me?”

She can hear him smiling over the phone.

“I would like that very much.”


End file.
